I am not a great storyteller, yet I hope that this story brings out the true essence of the life lessons that my lil baby has taught me. I am a 9 year old mother. My lil Su is yet to turn 9. Here is a conversation that took place exactly 2 months before her 9th birthday.
Mother - Daughter Conversation
Scene 1:
Su: (at the dinner table) Amma, Why do u just have Soup for dinner? Is it enough?
Me: I am ok dear. Soup is enough, I am not very hungry
Scene 2:
Me: (Standing in front of the mirror), Su, Do you think I have grown thin?
Su: No Amma,
Me: (Shocked!!!)
Su: You are still fat Amma. And so is Appa. Please don't change Amma, I love you and I love Appa too. I love you both the way you are.
Me: (Spellbound!!!! In tears of Joy!!!!!)
Background:
I have been frantically trying to lose weight since April 2015. I worked hard to lose 12 kilos but I regained about 5 Kilos back in a span of 2-3 months. Now in the second sprint, with great effort I have lost 1 kilo again, making the effective loss to 8 kgs.
For all people who know me, Su isn't like me. She is an introvert, shy, less of a speaker, not very quick in responding with wit. OR so I thought. Not Anymore!!!!!!!!
A child's Lessons of and for Life to a mother:
The latest trends on the internet teaches so much about parenting, not to impose our expectations on our children, to lead by example, to be patient with the kids, to accept them as they are, stand up for them whenever there is a need etc etc etc. Su's thought process has taught me everything that internet could not imbibe in me.
Su accepting me as I am makes me want to accept myself as I am. She doesn't know that I have a medical condition that makes it losing weight very difficult. Yet she accepts me as I am. I have never been so unconditionally loved by anyone. Yes, loosing weight is important but it only plays a small part in being fit. I will strive to be fitter everyday. With an assurance from your loved ones that they will love you for who you are and not for what you look like makes you want to be fitter.
If Su can accept me as I am why have I not been able to accept her as she is. Why do I always want her to be better than she already is. I know as parents we always want our children to better everyday. But now I feel my expectations were beyond reasonable. She is a lil bud with a beautiful mind and today, I promise I wont let her bloom before age. I promise myself not to impose my pace of doing things on her. I will let her do things in her own pace and adapt myself to her pace.
Su has never ever given up on me when people have claimed that I am fat. For instance, when my Gym instructor told her that her mother was an XL, she retorted stating that he was an XS and her mother was only an M. :) This is just with the way I look. I remember the day I lost my wallet that had heavy cash in it. I was feeling very guilty and Su's Appa was a lil furious with me. But Su didnt utter a word but she asked me to come closer to her and she gave me a tight hug to make me feel better. In yet another instance, she has stopped her Appa from being furious with me for being late for her school bus. She told him that I was late because I was doing all the house hold chores and getting her ready whereas he was doing nothing. She stands by me in whatever situation I am in. She is leading by example, which ideally should have been my role. Now, that she has become my Guru, let me atleast follow her footsteps. Darling Su, I promise to stand by you in every step of your life.
Today I stand with my head held high that I have such a daughter whom I am proud of and whom I have come to respect at a tender age of 8 years and 10 months. (Su, If you are particular about your age, so shall I be. :) I hope, someday, you get to know that I love you with all my heart, soul and everything there is of me.)