Contd...
Sumedhaa was sobbing and walking towards her bus stop (about 250 meters from our house) when Siju found her. When Siju called her name, she turned, saw him, ran to him and hugged him (as narrated by Siju).
When we were taking turns carrying and hugging Mickey we realized she had worn her shoes. When asked where she was going, she said, 'When I got up I couldn't find you, so I went looking for you (Yen laknaga yerla ithriyer, aaike yen poye)'. Shri asked her the reason for her to scream and she said, 'There were dogs coming close to me and so I was scared and screamed (Aaulu mast doggies iththen athaa, yank podige aanatha aaike kaLkiye)'.
I know you have a lot of questions:
- How could you leave her alone at home?
She has always been scared to get up alone from the bed, be it during her afternoon nap or a good night's sleep. She starts screaming. The place on the terrace where we were all sitting was chosen so that we could hear Mickey screaming if she got up from her sleep. There have been so many afternoons when she has cried that none of us were sleeping with her. But unfortunately, this time she didn't scream/cry which I would have expected from her had I been at home. But it turned in our negative this time.
- How could she have gone out of the gate?
Firstly, the door was open. Even if it was closed, she knows to open it. We don't have a latch on the door from outside. None of the apartments in our building has it. The lift was not working, had it been working she would have taken the lift. But she took the stairs. The gate next to the lift was left open by probably some guests who had left earlier. Mickey can easily open the main gate as it is very low.The watchman was sleeping in his room oblivion to the happenings in the building. Everything facilitated her to leave the building so easily.
- Did you beat Mickey for leaving the house like this?
How could I? Why should I have? It was my irresponsibility that I left her alone in the house and it was her fear of not having us around that made her do this. Instilling more fear in her by beating would mean I was not acknowledging my mistake and also it would be wrong to beat her for not her fault completely. As elders and matured people, if we can do mistakes, she is just a 3.5 years old. Imagine what would have been running in her mind when she found herself alone. The degree of fear is incomparable, isn't it? I still can't figure out the impact of this incident on her psych. Atleast that night, she was not ready to hold me or my hand while sleeping. She was clenching the rods of the cot instead.
The following Sunday, we took her to the Raagi Gudda temple to remove all her fears and to thank god for giving her, our life back to us. We told her that it was not right for her to go outside the house alone without letting us know or without anyone of us accompanying her. So now she relates to it so much that if a teenager goes alone on TV, she asks why the parents not accompanying the kid. So I hope this has sunk in so much that I don't have to worry about it for sometime atleast.
No, I will never loose her again.... :)
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