You'll know it only when you are a mom!

There are so many things that don’t have an answer as to why and how? How does a new born child recognize its mother's arms? How does it automatically fall silent and sleeps as soon as it is in its mother's arms? How does nature manage to do these?

Mickey does this most of the time when she is asleep. She feels around her to check if she is not alone. When she realizes that she is not alone, she goes back to her sleep. It was just the other night when she was fast asleep alone and I was busy with my work. She started crying coz she realized that she was alone. The moment I went in to check on her, she recognized that it was me and she fell silent. What was amazing was that she was somewhere between sleep and trance. That moment hit me so hard deep inside. Never have I felt like this before. Not when I scored good marks in my exams. Neither, my first job offer nor my first salary, not my marriage, not the new house, neither Himalayas nor the kanyakumari, The New York nor Niagara have done this to me. Is this what is Mommy feelings? Then I wonder if this is what my mom meant when she said "You'll know it only when you are a mom!"

And then one day, Mickey was very cranky, whining and wailing, being stubborn for something. After a long day's work, I couldn't take it and yelled at her. Once her dad was home, she cried to him "amma bochi" meaning 'I don't want mom'. I was almost to tears and felt, is this what my mom meant when she said "You'll know it only when you are a mom!"

Then there was another of those nights wherein I reached home much later after Mickey had gone to bed. She hadn't seen me for the entire day. I slowly crept beside her and went to sleep. The next thing I know is that it was dawn and I have two small hands on my cheeks and a pair of eyes staring at me. I again dozed off. After sometime when my eyes opened the same bright little eyes were gazing at me in the same fashion as before. How much she must have missed me! I love her more now. I feel guiltier now. Is this one of those "You'll know it only when you are a mom!" feeling?

I don't know the complete meaning of this statement. But I know one thing for sure that there are going to be many of those "You'll know it only when you are a mom!" feelings, a few of which will be pleasant and a few for which I better be prepared.

Signing off :)